Don’t Get Butthurt Because Your Pitch Sucks.

On my way to the WordPress Developers meetup, I decided to record this short video about an interaction I had with someone on Facebook. I don't use this word often, but this dude was seriously butthurt, for all the wrong reasons.

I also don't talk about negative interactions often because they usually bring weird vibes in. But there's a lesson to be had in this, so let's look at the silver lining.

He obviously didn't watch my videos about being social before asking for the sale. It didn't go well for him. More after the fold.

The Expanded Commentary

I don't usually put people on blast, and I'm not even doing that here. I withheld this guy's name because everyone makes mistakes. He's young and hungry so there's a chance he will straighten up.

But it's such a turnoff when I get approached like this so I thought I'd share this with you.

Don't be this guy. Don't approach someone pretending to want to be friends when in reality you're trying to pitch a business. Could I be the guy that's 100% wrong about this? Maybe, but a 20 year run of experience at this tells me I'm right.

There's nothing wrong with pitching your business or service or widget. Heck, I do it all the time! There are a couple of ways you can do that and I talk about that below.

But the issue comes in when you pretend like you're just making a connection so that we can help each other and you start dropping my friends' names as if you actually know them.

It's also cringy when you start using bullshit terminology and phrases like: "I'm glad to find a local brother" or "mutually fruitful relationship." I don't want to put up all the screenshots, but here's one piece of the conversation.

Ugh. "mutual fruitful win-win relationships" -- Like seriously dude, I appreciate the hustle, but GTFOH with that pre-canned copy n paste bullsh*t.

But in fact, you have no intention of actually helping my business, or helping me with any of my immediate problems in any way shape or form.

It's like going out on a date

Think about the dating world, you go out to a singles event and you see someone across the room; they were just talking to someone you know. You decide to approach them and introduce yourself, then when they are polite and introduce themselves back. Good right!? But then 2 minutes later you ask them to marry you.

Do you think that would work? Fuck no.

Take your time, truly develop a relationship. Offer something of help without asking for something in return first.

Give it time. If you do it right, the opening to talk about whatever service or business you're offering will work itself naturally. It might take 20 minutes, it might take 2 weeks. It might take a year. But your character will shine, and if you're in business for the right reasons, you understand the long term play.

If you must, just come out directly and say something like:

Hey, my name is such and such and I offer this service. I thought based on some of the stuff I saw on your profile you may be interested, would you have a few minutes to chat about it?

Do NOT name drop, pretending you know my friends.

That doesn't win you anything. And be honest and upfront about it. Drop the act. It's 2019, we can see right through it. Also, notice the little bit I added about "stuff I saw on your profile" take a few minutes to at least find something to chat about other than "where are you from?" or "what do you do?" etc... That's all in our profiles.

In the video, I mentioned a couple of other videos, here are those videos:

Okay, that's it for this post. Do you agree? disagree? Have you had this happen before? Let me know in the comments. I'd love to know your story.

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